8 Ways to Get Over ‘Giving to Get’ and Find Love

8 Ways to Get Over ‘Giving to Get’ and Find Love

Recently I wrote the article Are You Playing the ‘Giving to Get’ Game in Relationships? about a tactic some of us unconsciously use in relationships.

What is it? It’s an unhealthy way we act in relationships if we believe we have to do something in order to earn the love of others. It’s ‘giving to get’ something in return; an expectation of being loved or cared for if you do the right thing or say the right things or act the right way. It’s a basic belief in conditional love.

Why do you need to stop it? It’s a set up for disaster. It leaves you disappointed and feeling taken for granted while you are angry at the other person for doing all the taking. But you set it up that way: you did all the giving.

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Can You Learn to Embrace Failure?

I’m asking you to look at failure as feedback and learn to embrace it.

Why is it that many of us go to great lengths to avoid making mistakes, being wrong, or admitting failure? Even typing the word failure was hard, and I instantly felt the need to justify what I mean by it. And I’m just typing it! Guess what—we all mess up. It’s true. At some point we will all experience failure but it doesn’t have to be devastating.

As a culture have we become personally ‘failure avoidant’? Risk adverse? Keep Reading →