8 Ways to Get Over ‘Giving to Get’ and Find Love
Recently I wrote the article Are You Playing the ‘Giving to Get’ Game in Relationships? about a tactic some of us unconsciously use in relationships.
What is it? It’s an unhealthy way we act in relationships if we believe we have to do something in order to earn the love of others. It’s ‘giving to get’ something in return; an expectation of being loved or cared for if you do the right thing or say the right things or act the right way. It’s a basic belief in conditional love.
Why do you need to stop it? It’s a set up for disaster. It leaves you disappointed and feeling taken for granted while you are angry at the other person for doing all the taking. But you set it up that way: you did all the giving.
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This content was originally published here on GMP
After having spent most of my twenties on self-help “research” and thousands of dollars seeking advice on the best decisions to make in my life, I’d become a glorified junkie.
It hit me. I was an addict.
My drug of choice? Advice.
Coaching. Advice. Solutions. Sessions. Intuitive “hits.” Self-help that was everything but!
I needed something—anything to ease the pain of not knowing what to do! Whatever it took to get the high of an answer. Looking for that next score of bliss that came with rush of getting told what I should do. Anything that could stop the uncomfortable squirmy feeling of being unsure of the next step. Anyone with perceived authority was my supplier; a learned or spiritual person with an opinion who would tell me what I should do.
And then there were books. Self help gurus. Experts. Spiritual leaders. Astrologists. Astrophysicists. Psychics. Priests. Therapists. Biblical scholars (I mean they had a direct line to God and all). Hypnotherapists. You name it; I’d probably been there. Keep Reading →